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"AROUND THE ABYSS" (For N.C.)
My head's exploding from the noise,
It's all around - somebody's screams...
I cannot stand this frozen voice,
It always says "give up your dreams!!!"
It comes from deepest side of me,
from every bit of secret thought,
I lose my hope, betray belief,
I'm tired of driving in this road...
I'm standing here, so broken now,
This world is Weird... how much you're right!..
I know it's still too sacred love,
I'll keep it here without a fight.
Don't need a war with blood and tears,
So I will never make you stay
But don't you feel I'm always near -
This night, that morning and that day??
But what it's for? You're too remote...
And that is why it makes me run...
I have no shelter, no support,
My faith is lost, it seems undone...
I need a power to unlive,
My soul is begging for a help!..
I wanna know I can belive
Your love will come and save myself...
***
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Зачем ты заблудилась в этих сладких мечтах?
- Они такие странные, но кажется, что вечные.
Зачем ты утонула в самых милых глазах?
- Они всегда красивые и просто безупречные!..
Зачем тебе тревога и напрасная боль?
- Хочу забыть о счастье я , ведь мне не быть с ним никогда!
Но это же бессмысленно!..
- Но это любовь+
Мне просто очень нужен он,
Я с ним осталась навсегда!...
И значит, не полюбишь ты уже никого?
- Тепло свое и чувства все я отдала давно ему+
А если вдруг однажды ты увидишь его?
- Я шепотом скажу "люблю" и нежно-нежно обниму/
16.03.2004
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So many lives are undefended but undying
So many words are still unwritten and untold.
Over the Earth it's sacred place where no one's crying,
Under the sky it's only big and cruel world.
Cursing a fame we do just nothin' to achieve it,
Wonders are real+ but who believes it nowadays?
Taking offence we keep it on like unforgiving,
Falling again it's even difficult to raise+
Making a wish we never get the greatest pleasure,
Looking for love we always get a hate in stead.
What's going on and why this life is crazy pressure?
What do we need to find the strength and go ahead?
Holding a fate we're always searching for another,
Giving it up when our dreams are never gone,
Two native parts - but still like strangers to each other,
Two loving hearts+ but only one is so alone
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***
За окнами плачет красавица осень
Таким одиноким холодным дождем+
Никто не узнает и больше не спросит
Зачем ты так часто мечтала о нем.
Ты прятала мысли, слова и ошибки,
От боли теряла желание жить,
Соленые слезы скрывала улыбкой,
Напрасно пытаясь его сохранить.
А он с каждым днем для тебя все дороже,
Но с каждым мгновеньем все больше нельзя
Любить так безумно, лишь сердце тревожить,
Навеки теряясь в любимых глазах
***
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LOVE TO LIVE
You are forgotten and upset
Your happiness is really far+
Your life is bad, it makes you mad,
You know it's hard to be a star.
You want to love but there's a hate,
Nobody can become a friend.
You are so sure it is too late
To change a fate, it is the end!..
Oh girl, you're lost in this despair
You are so young, your dreams are real!..
Too many problems everywhere
And I'm aware what do you feel+
You're really broken but you're wrong,
This crazy sorrow's in the past,
And now it's time to be so strong,
The hope is here, it dies the last.
Don't close your eyes to see the light,
Just try to choose a better way,
You have to live, it's fully right,
But now you're playing with the flame.
+ Your tears are falling down again
But now there is no need to cry.
Remember, hate is only pain
But love is always anodyne!..
***
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I wanna run out of these days when everything
can bring me down
I'm not alive, there is no faith, it's easy to destroy my life.
I know that I don't have to die but maybe death is better place.
I'll be alone but there's some calm, no matter I won't see your
face.
I don't believe it can be real cause I've been waiting for so
long
You've never known what I could feel but maybe now I'm fully wrong.
But no, it's unbelievable! Don't say those things can be a truth!..
What if it's really Miracle?.. I'm so confused, afraid to lose.
***
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Don't wanna be a dreamer, I wanna make you real
It seems I'm in a fever, it's really strange to feel.
Don't wanna be a liar, I know where I belong
I can't put out this fire, I can't become so strong!
I'm leaving there my breathing, my heart is stopping here,
My soul is still releasing, it wants to disappear.
I'm leaving there my faithless, I love to see your light
But then I feel so breathless, you're not with me tonight.
I'm tired to feel this madness, I need to find my way
My heart is full of sadness without you every day!..
***
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CRUEL LIFE
Someone has own golden palace, they are always number 1,
Most of us are crazy rebels cause we can't reach to the sun.
Someone has no fate, no home, all they know is what is pain
Someone cannot be alone, they've no reason to complain.
Every day and every moment they can suffer from starvation,
Most of them are so ignorant, who can give em this salvation?
Their hearts are fully broken, look at their hopeless eyes!
Happy ways are never opened, they have never seen the light.
They deserve to be another, it's unfair, this life is mad!
People don't respect each other... all these things can make me
mad!!
It's not life, it's just existence, who can save em from this
cold?!
Their problem's really distant, we can't let it be untold!
Someone's drowning in the richness, their dreams are fully real
But they cannot see the weakness that the others always feel!..
***
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NO MATTER WHAT
No matter what I wanna love, I wanna live
And I don't care what people say I will believe
In all my dreams, in all those things which seem unreal
To prove I'll fly without the wings, just try to feel
My broken heart, my lonely soul, its every bit,
I wanna shout, I lose control, I'm incomplete!..
I cannot wait, I need to cry" - it's crazy thought!...
Don't wanna hate, don't wanna die
NO MATTER WHAT!!!
***
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N. C.
Sometimes your eyes are full of sadness
And then it seems you need to hide from crazy fame.
Sometimes you seem to be so perfect.
Illusion's broken cause of every bit of pain.
But you will never be so lonely
And you will never know about my empty soul.
You can't imagine I am falling
Can't look at you cause I will really lose control.
But now you're happy, now you're smiling
Your sorrow's gone and now you're shining like a star!
Sometimes your eyes are full of fire...
You're not an angel and i love just who you are...
***
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Don't wanna say I love you
Don't wanna be like everyone.
They always try to hold you
They scream n' shout cause you're the one!
Won't say a word to stop you,
I'm on your way but you don't know
And if I wanna hug you
I'll hide this wish to let you go!..
***
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BECAUSE OF YOU (for Kaos) - poetry in a prose
You make me happy when you smile, you make me see entire world
in glamorously sunny eyes+ but then I realize it's dangerous to
get too close+ you make my day so bright, so great and take my
tears away+ I often lose control but anyway I'm still amazed just
how you make me feel like that+ You make me always stay eternal
dreamer and believer in something sacred and true, in something
beautiful and passionate, in something mysterious but clear, in
something furious but sane, in something wrong but the most right,
in something blessed and full of light, in something old but something
new, in something connected with you+ it's something seems to
be so far but something near and NEVER GONE just where you are,
in something seems to be a shining star as well as an ordinary
drop of rain, in something silent but aloud that screams your
name every day to hold it inside+ it's something that makes me
drown in your eyes and something that makes me escape from your
glance full of light not to become blind+ it's something that
makes me go away to come back again and again to something that
calls LOVE what is blessed, what is bright, what is true+ and
it's all CAUSE OF YOU AND FOR YOU!..
***
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FROM PERFECT FAN (don't treat it very seriously):
Baby, you're amazing, you're the one who makes me crazy
Pretty eyes+ the sweetest lips I wanna kiss, kiss, kiss!
Maybe you're illusion, maybe everything's confusion
Perfect smile and lovely face; I want you come to give em craze!
Show em you're the one, you're really funny and the best
Oh don't you know it is your chance to make incredibly impressed
Their eyes and stupid faces and they'll learn these crazy lessons
Now or Never
But however it will make you live 4EVER
In my heart and all those nations which love your musical creations!
Pop in Rock and Rock in Pop; yeah, you've had a lot of job!
You're fantastic Backstreet boy, cause I've got a lot of joy!
All my words are really frank, nothing is mysterious
They are fools, you are the best. KAOS, you're SUPERIOR!!!
***
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IN A MESS
They always blame my every bit of sadness,
They're all the same, they say too many lies.
They only think my every dream is madness
But I have found just something in your eyes.
I'm tired to see those ordinary people,
I can't believe you were just one of them.
I wanna tell my secret on a whisper
But crazy wind will share it with the rain.
And it will cry my tears to spill my sorrow
That I've been holding for a long inside,
And now it's time to tell the world my story,
I really need to take it from my mind!..
But maybe you will never guess my riddle
There's much of it that you don't have to know.
I can't give up but staying in the middle
Cause rain has stopped and wind just doesn't blow.
***
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OVERLADEN HEART
When you live it's miracle,
Grateful that you've got this life!
But I choose this stupid way,
Everyone just says I'm blind.
I am glad I see this spring.
So much joy but too much pain+
I can't guess this secret link,
Flying just to fall again.
Many colors everywhere,
Sun is bright and warm today
But I feel myself so scared
Sunny life is getting grey+
Wanna scream about my hate
Hopeless dream+ and I'm so sad+
But I love+ it is too late+
What's the use to be so mad?
Life is hard but I don't care!
Let it be just fully new!
I am happy and I swear
I will always stay with you!!
When it hurts, don't wanna cry,
Just become so strong and smart!
All I need is just to calm
Crazy Overladen Heart!!
***
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FOR BACKSTREET BOYS:
1.
THE WORLD IS SCREAMING IN A CRAZE
WE CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE BACK AT LAST!!!
AND THAT IS WHY WE'RE STILL AMAZED
IT IS THE HAPPIEST NEW FOR US!!!
IT WAS SO HARD WITHOUT YOU, BOYS+
BUT ANYWAY YOU'RE ALWAYS HERE!!
IT'S REALLY GREAT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE,
WE'RE ALL WITH YOU, DON'T DISAPPEAR!
WE HAVE BEEN WAITIN' 4 SO LONG,
WE FELT SO BAD+ YOU WERE REMOTE+
WE WERE ALONE WITHOUT YOUR SONGS
THAT GIVE INCREDIBLE SUPPORT!!!
IT IS A BIRTH OF LUCKY DAY,
IT'S A BEGINNING OF THE DREAMS
AND EVERYONE CAN EASY SAY
IT'S A REVIVAL OF THE KINGS!+
YOU SEE, THERE IS NO TIME TO REST
BUT ALL WE CAN IS TO REJOICE!
YEAH, PEOPLE KNOW WHO IS THE BEST,
OF COURSE, IT'S OUR BACKSTREET BOYS!!!!!
2. WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU BELONG
YOU'RE LOST IN SEARCHING FOR DELIGHT
JUST LISTEN TO THE BACKSTREET SONG
AND YOU WILL GET AMAZING LIFE!!!
SOMETIMES YOU REALLY LOSE CONTROL,
YOU CANNOT CALM, YOU NEED TO SCREAM
BUT BACKSTREET MUSIC HEALS YOUR SOUL,
YOU CAN RELAX AND FLY IN DREAMS.
TOO MANY STARS ARE AT THE SKY
AND TOO MUCH LIGHT IS IN THE SUN
JUST KEEP THE BACKSTREET PRIDE ALIVE
AND YOU WILL SHINE AS NUMBER 1!!!!!!!
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